Eastern Standard Blog

Ever since my wife originally went to Quito in 2005 I’ve heard about the various places she went and things she did while there. She longed to share her experiences with me. One place that became central to her experience there was a shopping mall called Quicentro.

Now there can be little doubt that Ecuador is very different than what most of us know in our comfortable, western, 1^st world lives. But Quicentro is located in a very nice part of town, and is as fine a shopping mall as you are likely to find. I’ve been in a lot worse malls in the United States. A prime example of Ecuador’s modern capitalist aspirations. It is full expensive goods and services. Much to my surprise it also has a surprising amount of American fast food. Dunkin Doughnuts, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, TGIFridays and KFC. I’m not such a big fast food eater myself these days, but I still was surprised. We joked in Rome that you could find historical points of interest based on their proximity to McDonalds. There is also a great arcade located on the 3^rd floor, which also has a massive kid’s play area where no adults were allowed. Lots of play houses, slides, tubes, tunnels and a ball pit. As you might imagine this was a big hit with the little one. At 75 cents for 20 minutes of play it might have been a little pricey by Ecuadorian standards, but fit my gringo sensibilities just fine.

The eating there was quite tasty too. It contains the most excellent Crapes and Waffles as well as some ‘typical’ Ecuadorian fare. Avocado, plantain, white hominy (locally called mote) and the fabulous llapingacho, I’m not sure I’ve ever eaten so healthily and inexpensively in a food court before!

Hello, my name is Richard. You can call me Dick. I’m totally out of touch with reality.

BAGHDAD (Reuters) – U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney on Monday declared the 2003 U.S.-led invasion of Iraq a “successful endeavor” in a visit to Iraq that was overshadowed by a suicide bombing that killed at least 25 people.

In what possible context could you believe that this has been successful? Baby killing. Check. Destroy any existing underlying infrastructure, making things like water, electricity and health care worse then they have ever been? Check.

Oh, oh, oh I got it. War profiteering? Check.

On February 22^nd my daughter and I flew to Quito Ecuador to join my wife. Traveling by yourself with a 3 year old is a super good time. I highly recommend it to everyone. It’s not bad enough that you have to (pointlessly) remove your shoes and dare not have any liquids on your person when you try to cross the security screen. You might as well remove your laptop and portable DVD player. Oh and the kid’s shoes, cause if you are going to be evil you might as well be really, really evil and hide stuff in the kid’s shoes. Then you can feel like all the King’s Horses while trying to put all that shit back together and manage a 3 year old. Super fun. Our first fight was slightly delayed because of weather, but she did get a huge kick out of watching the plane being sprayed down with de-icer while we were sitting inside it.

The second leg of the trip from Chicago to Miami things went pretty well until we landed. I have flown through Miami quite a few times over the years and I believe, without a doubt, that it is my least favorite airport in the world. It seems like, almost without exception, every time I’ve flown through there that my plane has to wait for a gate to park at. So while we were waiting for our gate, the people in the row behind us fire up their cell phones, which start ringing almost instantly. The conversation goes something like this:

“Hey. No, everything’s fine. Why? No shit? Really? Wow. Let me see if I can see anything.” Pause. “Yeah, oh wow. Yeah, there is a bunch of helicopters back there and emergency vehicles all over the place. No, no. We are totally safe. I’ll call you back when we get inside the airport.”

Obviously at this point I start looking out the window myself. It’s pretty much just like he described. There are like 5 or 6 helicopters just hanging in the air and lots of emergency vehicles with flashing lights. I look back over the seat at the guy like WTF? and he says “A plane was going to come in on an emergency landing. It’s all over the news.” I send a quick SMS to the wife, something like “Not our plane. We are safe and fine.” Because who knows what she’s going to hear on the news. Some great keywords like: Miami, airplane, Chicago, emergency. Good times.

The leg from Miami to Quito was much less exciting. However, landing it Quito (dark or not) is pretty exciting. The city runs north/south in a valley and the airport is in the middle of the city. It really seems like you are just going to crash into the city while landing, and apparently the runway is a little short of planes of the size we were flying in (757). I’ve never had a plane come to such a sudden (and semi-violent) stop. I was totally thrown forward in my seat when we came to a stop.

¿Por qué no te callas?

Of course, this is was uttered by the King of Spain in November 2007 to Chávez. I think under the current circumstances, it also applies quite nicely. Are you really going to start a war over killings of an internationally recognized terrorist group, which didn’t even happen in your country? Well, maybe if you had sent them $300 Million you might, but I still doubt it. Shut up, stay home.